“For Given For The Last Time” starts at the very moment the conversation is no longer avoidable. Exzenya establishes the scene with a shaky voice and a lot of looks being exchanged, then immediately moves on to the person who has caused the pain. The real turning point in the song is the realisation that she’s been asking for forgiveness all along in the wrong place. It’s a story of facing up to her own choices and realising that she can’t heal until she stops blaming herself.
It goes beyond a broken relationship. She stayed when she should have gone. She trusted words that were not true and watched her family get sucked into a story that was all lies. “I chose to stay when long ago I should have left” is a plain statement of regret and the image of a web is a very apt one in terms of the difficulty of untangling the truth from the lies she once believed. The song doesn’t make excuses, it doesn’t get into the accusation. It’s about taking responsibility and getting on with it without being mired in shame.
A very restrained piano and vocal piece which allows the story to unfold at its own pace. It’s a slow burner at 86 BPM rather than a song with a strong groove. The emotional arc is all in the delivery and the narrative itself. It starts off quite fragile, the voice gradually moving towards self forgiveness and the piece settles into a very calm sense of reclamation. The minimal music really allows the words to do the work and there’s no dramatic musical peak to compete with the shift in perspective.
By the end forgiveness is a decision you make for yourself. “Only now does the healing begin within me” is the point at which regret is replaced by the prospect of moving on. Exzenya doesn’t leave the story with a grand pronouncement of having moved on. The ending is much quieter, much more personal. “Forgiven for the Last Time” is a song about acknowledging the pain, taking responsibility for your part in the story and deciding you’re not going to carry that pain any further.
FACEBOOK SPOTIFY EXZENYA.COM INSTAGRAM TIKTOK BANDCAMP SOUNDCLOUD YOUTUBE
